The U.S. government has just
passed a new law called: "The Affordable Boat Act"
declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April
2014.
These "affordable” boats will cost an average
of $54,000-$155, 000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers,
towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and
storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.
This law has been
passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially
responsible people have been able to purchase boats.
This new law ensures that every
American can now have an "affordable” boat of their own,
because everyone is entitled to a new boat. If you purchase your
boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free"
life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.
In order to make sure everyone
purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will
increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people
will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't
afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to
maintain their boat will be regularly fined.
Children (under the age of 26) can
use their parent’s boats to party on until they turn 27; then
they must purchase their own boat. (But are encouraged to buy one earlier by a massive campaign using keg stands to getting laid with "Got Boat?" even though they do not have to.)
If you already have a boat, you
can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or
don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyway. If you
refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined
$800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment. Failure to use
the boat will also result in fines.
People living in the desert,
ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not
exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, and lack of
desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A government review board (that
doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern
sides of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where,
how often, and for what purposes you can use your boat. They will
also dictate how many people can ride in your boat, and determine
if one is too old or not healthy enough to be able to use their
boat. They will also decide if your boat has outlived its
usefulness, or if you must purchase specific accessories (like a
$500 compass), or a newer and more expensive boat.
Those who can
afford yachts will be required to do so…it’s only fair. The
government will also decide the name for each boat.
Failure to comply with these rules
will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want
a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the
expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with
large political affiliations are also exempt.
Reprinted with permission by J.Voll
By the way the multimillion dollar website will never work, and all your personal data is at the whims of hackers. Plus, you will loose your present boat and be charged 3x the price of lesser quality of boat that you do not get to choose.
Supreme Court Justice allows the law to continue because felt it should be deemed as just another tax on the citizens of USA.
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